The perfect gift is in your intention

Looking for last-minute holiday gifts can be stressful when we add all the last-minute activities that we try to squeeze out of the end of the year. When in a stressful situation I always ask the intention, and we can all agree that the objective of a holiday gift is to offer to the people we love and like something that will enrich their lives–things they will appreciate, use and enjoy.  If you are purchasing gifts, unless you have been told what the gift receiver wants, chances are you won’t know how the gift is received and/or if the gift will fulfill its intention.

So what do we do? How do we strengthen social bonds without forking over a ton of money? How do we avoid putting our loved ones in positions where they feel like they must pretend to like something in order to maintain a relationship? Here are a few ideas:

• Give experiences. People are far more likely to be satisfied with an experience than an object. Treat them to a play, take them out to dinner or cook dinner for them, go to a yoga class with them…whatever. Keep the focus on doing and experiencing, not having and accumulating. If you need ideas, I love a website I found this season, it's called Unstuff and it offers great ideas for stuff-free gift giving.

• Give a gift certificate or money. It might lack the romance, but these gifts are sure to get used. I usually add a note to the card telling the receiver anecdotes or of gifts ideas I thought they may enjoy.

• Give thoughtfully. Gift giving is an art. It often takes time, consideration and some knowledge of the gift receiver’s life. If we don’t have those things, we might want to give something with more universal appeal. If we do have those things, choose something carefully…and feel free to throw in a gift receipt and make sure you tell them that they can return. Remember its not your gift once given.

Curiosity (galactic awareness in the everyday life)

As season moves us into darker days, I feel that my innate curiosity starts to move me inside.  I am sure we all feel those moments where we want to explore areas of ourselves that we don't know anything about (whether because we are afraid to know or because we never thought about it before).  Our curiosity is a springboard, a launching pad for that leap of faith into the unknown.  What would happen if you bring your awareness into new territories the experience of life?  

That is exactly what scientist did in 1996.  They pointed the Hubble Space Telescope at one of those dark patches in space.  The result: one of the most important images ever taken. Where we as humans saw nothing, there were galaxies — more than 3,000 of them. And when we looked more deeply, our field of view expanded to more than 100 billion galaxies.  Next time you are curious, you are afraid, you don't know, point the telescope of your own attention.  You'll never know what you may find.

 

Zen Parable: the little monk and the Samurai

Love, love a good parable and this one is sweet and powerful.  As we read stories, what makes them powerful and transforming is when we place ourselves in the shoes of every character (yes, the wicked and demonic too); go ahead get your monk hat and Samurai hat before your start reading.  Enjoy.​

A big, tough samurai once went to see a little monk.

"Monk!"

He barked, in a voice accustomed to instant obedience.

"Teach me about heaven and hell!"

The monk looked up at the mighty warrior and replied with utter disdain,

"Teach you about heaven and hell? I couldn't teach you about anything. You're dumb. You're dirty. You're a disgrace, an embarrassment to the samurai class. Get out of my sight. I can't stand you."

The samurai got furious. He shook, red in the face, speechless with rage. He pulled out his sword, and prepared to slay the monk.

Looking straight into the samurai's eyes, the monk said softly,

"That's hell."

The samurai froze, realizing the compassion of the monk who had risked his life to show him hell! He put down his sword and fell to his knees, filled with gratitude.

The monk said softly,

"And that's heaven."

Spread Your Wings; enjoy your day

In all my studies of anatomy, philosophy, design and yoga there is the common thread of observing nature's pulsation.  This idea of contraction and expansion permeates our surroundings, our bodies, our minds and spirits.  When we are able to tab, connect, ride, touch or pulsate with the overarching pulsation of God, then we experience an authentic life that moves us closer to the sweetest experience of life itself.  I found this poem by Rumi, which evokes beautifully what all great teachers are trying to cultivate in us.

Birdwings by Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks)

Your grief for what you’ve lost lifts a mirror up to where you’re bravely working.

Expecting the worst, you look, and instead, here’s the joyful face you’ve been wanting to see.

Your hand opens and closes and opens and closes. if it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralyzed.

Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, The two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birdwings.

Words of Wisdom for Hope and for Moving Forward

My heart felt condolences to all the families and the victims of the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown.  Our hearts are broken. Not that long ago, I was listening to On Being's radio show about the mindfulness of anger, the talk was offered by  Buddhist Master, Thich Hhat Hanh and in times like this when our own thoughts can't possible offer an explanation, we must turn to the wiser ones,  the stronger ones, knowing that in our hearts those qualities abide too.

 I found light in this passage from the Buddhist master, I hope you do too.  It is particularly poignant:

"…there is a seed of anger in every one of us. There are many kinds of seeds that lie deep in our consciousness, a seed of anger, a seed of violence, a seed of fear, a seed of jealousy, a seed of full despair, a seed of miscommunication, a seed of hate. They're all there and, when they sleep, we are okay. But if someone come and water these seeds, they will manifest into energy and they will make us suffer. We also have wholesome seeds in us, namely the seeds of understanding, of awakening, of compassion, of nonviolence, of nondiscrimination, a seed of joy and forgiveness. They are also there.

What we see, what we hear, what we eat, always water the seed of violence, the seed of despair, the seed of hate in us and in our children. That is why it's very urgent to do something collectively in order to change the situation. Not only educators, but parents, legislators, artists, have to come together in order to discuss the strategy that can help bring the kind of safe environment to us and to our children where we shall be protected from the negative watering of the seeds in us. The practice of transformation and healing could not be effective without this practice of seeking or creating a sane environment. When someone is sick, you have to bring him to a place where he or she can be treated and to heal.

If the human person is affected by the poison of violence and anger and despair, if you want to help heal him or her, you have to bring him or her out of the situation where she continues to ingest the poisons of violence. This is very simple. This is very clear and this is not only the job of educators. Everyone has to participate to the work of creating safe environments for us and for our children."

A Prayer of Thanks to Nature

We may tend to attribute ego-driven behaviors to Nature (i.e., wrath), but I know that Nature is Love, because God is Love.  And Love has no Ego.   As we prepare to gather for Thanksgiving,  I want to share this beautiful prayer that was written a century ago, but its connection with Grace and Gratitude is permanent and as relevant today as it will a hundred years from now.  Happy Thanksgiving.

Prayer for Nature by Walter Rauschenbusch (1861–1918)

O God, we thank you for this universe, our home; and for its vastness and richness, the exuberance of life which fills it and of which we are part. We praise you for the vault of heaven and for the winds, pregnant with blessings, for the clouds which navigate and for the constellations, there so high. We praise you for the oceans and for the fresh streams, for the endless mountains, the trees, the grass under our feet. We praise you for our senses, to be able to see the moving splendour, to hear the songs of lovers, to smell the beautiful fragrance of the spring flowers.

Give us, we pray you, a heart that is open to all this joy and all this beauty, and free our souls of the blindness that comes from preoccupation with the things of life, and of the shadows of passions, to the point that we no longer see nor hear, not even when the bush at the roadside is afire with the glory of God. Give us a broader sense of communion with all living things, our sisters, to whom you gave this world as a home along with us.

We remember with shame that in the past we took advantage of our greater power and used it with unlimited cruelty, so much so that the voice of the earth, which should have arisen to you as a song was turned into a moan of suffering.

May we learn that living things do not live just for us, that they live for themselves and for you, and that they love the sweetness of life as much as we do, and serve you, in their place, better than we do in ours. When our end arrives and we can no longer make use of this world, and when we have to give way to others, may we leave nothing destroyed by our ambition or deformed by our ignorance, but may we pass along our common heritage more beautiful and more sweet, without having removed from it any of its fertility and joy, and so may our bodies return in peace to the womb of the great mother who nourished us and our spirits enjoy perfect life in you.

Find out who you are by eliminating clutter - Office

One of my sweet students sent me an article from the Boston Globe titled Free yourself by letting go of the clutter in your home, office, and finances, the article is about balancing your finances and it points to a book written by Gail Blanke- “Throw Out Fifty Things: Clear the Clutter, Find Your Life." I am sure the book explains why "fifty" is the magic number, but I haven't read the book.  I do love the idea to start with a random number.  Engineering school taught me to analyze numbers and patterns, but it  also taught me  to trust numbers that don't quite make sense because at the end of the day you are looking for results (my Catholic upbringing just reinforced this methodology).   I've counseled hundreds of folks in how to organize a space and the most difficult part of the process is editing one's belongings.  I know it is very difficult, I struggle myself with parting from items I've attached myself out of nostalgia or out of fear.  So this is an experiment on how to free oneself of material things that aren't serving one's life anymore and I know for a fact that the process can become a metaphor to embrace the present and face one's fears.

As an unscientific experiment,I will throw out fifty items. Yes, I will become the subject of this experiment as I downsize my already pocket-size belongings in hope that the process will help you cope with the editing process of simplifying your life into a richer and healthier one.  If it doesn't do that, at least I hope it brings a smile to your day.

I am going to start with my Office Space.

So where do I  start?  I need to get rid of 50 things, so I guess as any good editor I am gonna look at every item in my office and ask  how is this item contributing to my work?

I think the key here is the active verb, contributing as supposed to contributed.  Many times I hold on to the stories in my head of how wonderful a book was, how nice a workshop was , and how one day I will use that stationary again.   Embracing who I am today means honoring those items that helped me move forward.  I need to trust that I don't need "the story" that the item evokes and let it  go from that place of confidence where I am.

- 28  Books:  this was a tough one since these books were not just books I read, these are books that moved me.   I love stories and if I find a good story like in the many novels I've collected through my adulthood I feel that parting with the book will not let me hold on to the story.  This isn't true, these stories will be with me as long as I can recall the connection I had with them.  Public libraries and electronic books are my friend, if I decided to reconnect with any of my favorite books, I know where to find them.  20 books were donated to the Dobbs Ferry Library.  I also have carried with me textbooks since graduating from college.  I sold most of them right after graduations but I kept  a handful after school thinking that I may need them, I never did, but they represented hundreds of dollars and the fear of being wasteful made me hold on to them.  Truth is that no only I never use these books and no one can use them neither.   I can't sell them or donate them, no one wants them.  So holding onto hundred of dollars that can't serve me or anyone else IS wasteful.  8 Textbooks were tossed (yes, no alternative, I even consulted with theater  prop shops).

- 1 Box of envelops,  these 81/2 " x 11" white3 envelops have been with me since college too.  I used them to send resumes to potential employees.  I don't send mass mailing anymore and PDF electronic files is the standard.  Recycled them.

- 1 Day Runner Day Planner; I have been using my iCalendar for two years now, very successfully.  The repeat/end by date function is a huge help and the fact that I can syncronize with my mobile devise is awesome.  Why do I keep this day planner? I spend a lot of time and money creating my personalized day planner, but it is not useful anymore.  Recycled.

- 2 Decks of playing cards.  Last time I used playing cards I was in Vegas, and casinos make playing cards super available.  Tossed.

- 1 Desktop lamp which has been broken for two years.  I thought I could find a small repair shop to help me with this, but I didn't find one or made any effort.  Tossed.

- 2 boxes of postcards collected in coffee shops.  I had the great idea of forwarding these post cards to friends as I thought of them in my often thinking afternoons in coffee shops.  Texting has become then new postcards.  Recycled.

- 8 pens/markers that do not work properly.  I accumulate so many pens and markers that it becomes hard to keep track of which ones are working.  60 seconds of testing, but I know I can pick up a writing devise with total confidence of success.

- 4 File Folders.  These folders contained finished projects with relevant information, which could come handy for me or my clients.   I scanned all the documents, store the electronic copy my DropBox account and shred paper files.  I  have feared that the information will be stolen or lost in the cloud network, but it could have been  stolen and lost in my house or through all the e-mails I have sent.  I surrender to technology...it is indeed a good thing.

- 5 Yoga  DVD.  These were some of my first yoga teachers.  Rodney &  Shiva were there to help me build my yoga practice, they are still in my practice, but I haven't use these DVD's in years.  I can honor their teaching by just donating these to the library.

- 1 Mouse pad.  I haven't use it in three years...bye bye, my friend.

Who am I?  I am space.  I am efficient. I am open to new experiences.   The whole experiment was very difficult to start, but once you start the process, it is relatively simple.  A great side-effect: You will find your mind more open and more willing to let go of thoughts that are not serving you.

Drop me a line if you find this helpful.

Becoming One From Many

It is so easy to live a fragmented existence, mainly  it is taught to us by society, by our parents, by our teachers, by our friends.   Behave this way when  in school, this way when adults are present, this way when these folks are around...so it  isn't a surprise that as adults we have to embark in a long quest to make our lives whole again.  It took years to fragment  who we were  into small compartmentalized fractions of ourselves and so it takes years to bring those pieces into who we want to be again.  In the meantime, a lots of those fragments get further broken, or polished, or painted.  The longer we wait to go back to the whole, the harder the process will be.  So wait no time and be, and remember it will take time and this process is a gift.  Here is a poem that explains this concept better than I could possibly do.

Love After Love

The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.

“Love after Love” from COLLECTED POEMS 1948-1984 by Derek Walcott

Breath here.

I am not one to ignore messages from the Universe; and this week the message was loud and clear: BREATH.    I was teaching a twists-focus class this week;  as I taught,  I swear, I saw my students twisting and  the image of a twirling cloud came to my mind.  Next thing I know I am at the wonderful Dana Covello's class and she'd decided to sweep us into a Pranayama journey for 90 minutes that culminated into the sweetest understanding of Hanumanasana (disclaimer, even though my internal body fully manifested this pose, I wasn't anywhere close to the full pose-smile).  So when I came across a podcast  from Elsie's Yoga Class: Live and Unplugged Episode 93 focus on breathing (you must subscribe to her awesome free podcast), I decided to surrender to the powerful force of just listening to my breath. A clear message has emerged from this week's breathing exercises:  I am the fruit of my breath.

Remember this as you move into your everyday.  Please take a moment to observe your breath today and always.

Now, Universe, if you can just tell me what numbers to purchase in the lottery!!!

Karma is gonna get you (good Karma, that is)

I was browsing through my YJ (Yoga Journal Magazine), and found a very practical piece on Karma by Sally Kempton.   Yes, I get YJ for the articles! There are many deep and fascinating ways to explain Karma and how this Eastern Philosophy concept affect our everyday life.  I feel that these type of concepts should be digested individually and their understanding should be drawn from personal experience.  However the article was so inspiring, I just want to present it in the most practical & physical way: for every action we apply in our lives, there is a reaction.

These are some good Karma practices,  extracted from yoga traditions, that can shift your day-to-day positive attitude.  It may sound cynical and almost impossible to stay  with a positive attitude all the time, but here is where fake-it-till-you-make- it philosophy can come in handy.  In other words,  just as your attitude can shape your actions, you can, through your actions,  re-shape your attitude.

1- Start the day with a positive intention: it is your intention so make it count for you.  As an example, you can start the day with something like, "I am present on my actions and my actions will serve those around me," or " Today, I will be an instrument of the Universe's joy," etc.   At the end of the day don't forget to notice how your intention shaped your day.

2-Act for the good of others.  Certain acts and thoughts create positive impressions in your mind.  These imprints result in positive life experiences.  So go ahead and DO something kind everyday:  as simple as picking up trash along the sidewalk, donating to a charity or helping a stranger on the streets.   Notice how the act makes you feel.

3-Make an offering.  We are surrounded by abundance in our personal life, however when we feel lacking, we tend to engage in negative patterns.  One solution to these tendencies is the practice of offering your positive actions to the benefit of others.   When you observe how your positive actions are beneficial to others, you can stay motivated to act positively.

Find + Abundance in your Day with these Free Services

One of the most re-occurring contemplations that occupy my mind is that of ABUNDANCE… I spent a whole summer trying to find abundance through butter; please ask me about it when you see me next. As we come to celebrate the harvest time, it could seem that we don’t have enough, and yet if we take the time to stop and become a receptacle of the always abundant power of the universe we can see how many amazing thing are always available to us.  On that spirit, I decided to share some of my favorite sites that are available to all of us that have access to the Internet.

Mint.com - The best free way to manage your money.

Mint brings all your financial accounts together online or on your mobile device, automatically categorizes your transactions, lets you set budgets and helps you achieve your savings goals.  This may be a scary thing to do, but it really pays off to have a personal secretary keeping track of your expenses and your INCOME!

elsiesyogakula.com - Amazing free way to practice Anusara yoga on the go

Elsie is this fabulous Anusara yoga teacher that has been my cyber teacher for years.  I absolutely love her Free Online Yoga Classes.  She also has a very cool App available for your mobile devices.

There are over 80 audio yoga classes on the site. They range from basic yoga/beginner yoga classes to more advanced yoga practices. The length of the classes also varies. Classes can be from 45 min to 90 minutes. The average class runs about 75 minutes.

You can find those classes easily via the categories on the side bar, as they’ve been split up for greater accessibility. Each class has it’s own post, that begins with a small intro article, a link to the mp3 file, which you can download or stream directly from your computer or mobile device and the corresponding sequence of classes highlighted by pictures.

Dropbox - Best free way to store and share electronic files online

My friend Xavier introduced me to this service.  For those of us that are not willing dedicate time to technology this is the perfect "cloud computing" site.  It is the easiest way to share documents of all kind among all your computers and with other people.

Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Dropbox was founded in 2007 by Drew Houston and Arash Ferdowsi, two MIT students tired of emailing files to themselves to work from more than one computer.

Today, more than 25 million people across every continent use Dropbox to always have their stuff at hand, share with family and friends, and work on team projects.

Chronicles of a Closet Cleanse

My smart, beautiful and ever pragmatic friend Jennifer Rose did what most of us are afraid of doing; she plunged into the arduous yet rewarding task of excavating, cataloging and yes, organizing her closet.  Jenifer hosts a style blog.  I recently caught up with her and we talked about the scary mission of organizing one's closet.  Please read her anecdotal accounts below, at the end you can also read the unedited Q&A session we held; I enjoyed so much exploring the very spiritual and practical ways in which organizing can elevate the status of the spaces we have, I hope you enjoy it too.

What I Did Over The Long Weekend - J. Rose Style

So my first post is about what I did this weekend.  The weekend started simply enough, I went to the library to pick up some movies and while perusing the non-fiction books section I found this, "The Shopping Diet: Spend Less to Get More", by Phillip Bloch.  Reading the bio on the back one can ascertained that Bloch is a jack of all trades, stylist, writer, commentator, the list goes on.  The book is aimed at people with shopping compulsions or addictions, the promise is that by considering what you actually wear in your wardrobe you will become more aware of what you need, what your style is and what looks good on your body, therefore less likely to make those unnecessary purchases that lead to a budget crisis.  I was intrigued. I am not a compulsive shopper, but I always felt like a terribly uninformed or unaware shopper.  Constantly buying something I like without considering what I have at home to go with it or even if it was really flattering to my figure.  As a result my closet was a mish mash, without enough solid pieces to build an outfit with and a bunch of clothes that didn't fit right.  My closet was in desperate need of editing.  Following the steps in Part Two of the book (Part One is about assessing your style, what you wear frequently, etc...) I emptied my entire closet, in season, out of season, accessories, jewelry, socks and underwear.  My bedroom looked like my closet threw up everywhere.  Ahh!! However my closet was completely empty.

Using the tips Bloch outlined, I separated my clothes into categories and then I began to edit.  Trying on everything in front of a full length mirror and deciding if it stayed in the closet, was fixed, was sold on eBay or donated.

My very well edited closet.  Not sparse, minimalist darling.

It took an entire afternoon, but the process was very cathartic and eye opening.  I don't have a lot left in my closet, but what is left are clothes and accessories I truly love and wear constantly.  The pieces that I feel are missing from my, now very well edited closet are written on a list that will go with me whenever I go shopping.  I don't feel like I need a lot of clothes, in fact the more clothes I had the more stifled I felt.  Yes, I thought that all those clothes gave me more outfit choices, but they didn't.  Having too many choices made getting dressed too complicated and overwrought.  I think that the key to style is knowing what works for you, on you, having great accessories to spice up any outfit and carrying yourself with confidence wherever you go.

Q & A - A Yogic Perspective in Organizing Your Closet

Q- So Jenifer, what motivated you to look into the closet?

A- Mornings are always crazy,the most challenging part of my mornings were when I went to get dressed, I would open the closet, see it stuffed with clothes and feel completely overwhelmed. In February, I was reading Philip Bloch's book "The Shopping Diet" and it had a statistic like women do not wear 80% of the clothing they own, instead they wear the same key pieces that are comfortable and fit.  Major aha! moment, choices in terms of my closet are bad, instead of feeling empowered by the choice of clothes, I felt overwhelmed.  I knew the closet needed to be purged and resolved to do it immediately.

Q- What was your vision or intention when you finally decided to get your closet re-organized?

A- When I started I knew I wanted to cut that "80%", the extra stuff, the fat.  I wanted my closet to be well edited to suit my current taste, only containing pieces that fit well and make me feel great when I wear them.  Every woman wants that, I just didn't realize how much I didn't need till I dug in.

Q- Did you use any organization technique in particular?  What tips or advice was most useful for your closet cleansing?

A- The first thing I did was to remove the extra hangers, this freed up a lot of space in the closet and made it easier to work.  I put the hangers in a box to the side in case I needed them.  Next I took everything out of the closet, in-season, out of season everything.  When everything is hanging up in a dark closet it's hard to evaluate, bring it into the broad light of day so you get a clear picture of what's been lurking in there.  As I was taking things out of the closet I sorted them by type, skirts, shirts, pants, etc... I made piles of like items so I could evaluate what I had, example why do I have three pairs of black pants.

I know a lot of people are probably grimacing at the prospect of this kind of deep cleansing, but you need to "make a mess" to get things in order.  Also do not, I repeat do not go out and buy things to organize the closet before you clean it out.  Clean it out first then see what you need.

Q- How did you decide what garments or accessories had to go?  What were you looking for when you looked in the mirror?  and What did you do with items that you weren't sure if they had to go?

A- In order to decide what stayed and what went I brought in a full length mirror.  I tried everything on and was brutally honest with myself about, what worked, what didn't and what was just so-so.  If you aren't able to be that honest, invite over some friends that will be.

For sorting the things to get rid of I pulled out four bags, I labeled them all, one for donations, one for things that I like but need to be fixed, another for things I thought I could sell on eBay (new or almost items) and the last one was for sentimental clothes (things I won't wear, but have a special meaning and maybe one day I will part with).  I also brought out a garbage bag for things I couldn't salvage (happy to note, that the clothes in the garbage were recycled into cleaning rags).

If there was a case where I couldn't decide I took a picture of myself wearing the item.  Usually the picture didn't lie, if it didn't flatter my figure out it went.  Clothes that don't suit your shape are like backstabbing friends, they'll tell you that you look great to your face and then turn around and reveal your flaws to the world, who needs that.

Accessories are only as good as the clothes they go with, if I had any scarves, belts and shoes, that never matched the clothes I have, I got rid of them.  It's probably because they were colors I never wear.  Also I got rid of any belts or shoes that didn't fit, they were just taking up space.

When I put everything back in the closet I knew it was only things that fit, that flattered and that matched what I owned.  I sorted the clothes by type when hanging them up (making it easy to sort through) and the color.

More isn't always better, sometimes it's just more.